Ah, Sweet Justice

Time for another political rant. And it’s about time too, this close to the next, and possibly most important presidential election to occur in many a decade. Got a couple of good info-nuggets this week and I figured they just had to be shared. These first two confirm my ever growing belief that the judicial system in this country is being administered by judges and law-makers who seem to derive their pompous vision of what justice and equity are from some bizarre, alternate universe.

First, this gem:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=585&e=2&u=/nm/20041020/sc_nm/environment_whales_dc

C’MON!!! You mean to tell me the only reason why animals can’t sue is because there’s essentially been no judicial precedent set?? Never mind the fact that they haven’t even got opposable thumbs, an organized complex system of communication, or the ability to exercise clear and concise cognition and communication with the very humans who would act as judges and counsel. It’s just that Morris the fucking Cat hasn’t ever sued anyone yet. So because it’s not on the books, that’s the only reason that animals all over the country can’t join disgruntled relationship participants and bad business people in clogging our courts with bullshit. Ok. Got it. Just checking.

But if you enjoyed that little "turdlett" of information, you have GOT to dig this:

http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=503540

Well alrighty then. I've always held the belief that most conservatives have closets that hold numerous and twisted skeletons, and eventually said skeletons tend to overflow and fall out (isn't trans-generational incest a spectator sport in most Southern states? According to the Vatican, is pedophilia NOT a sin? And don't even get me started on the issue of livestock. Baaaaaaaaaaa). Some recent examples, of course are one Rush Limbaugh and much more recently, Mr. Bill O'Reilly. I would recount what Bill Maurer said about O'Reilly on last week's Real Time, but I don’t know if I’m ready for my little corner of the Internet to get that “blue” yet (then again, I did just say a tense of the word “fuck”. There. . . I said it again.) But trust me, it was dead-on and brilliant. Let's just say it had to do with a certain martial aid and a "bad place" (Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!) And I'm talking about "Mr." O'Reilly and the "device", not his alleged sexual harassment victim. To quote a country/pop music darling (and no, I'm NOT a fan), "Man, I feel like a woman!" Well, maybe 'ol Bill O'Reilly does. . .

But I digress. I would probably respect Judge Scalia much more regarding his ancient Roman proclivities if he would just either admit that he likes to get his freak on in a group setting (sounds like more trouble than its worth, but whatever) or kept his freaky essential oils and Saran wrap in that dark closet of his conservative soul. But he had to front with this conservative bullshit. And it is bullshit. Obviously.

Maybe after retiring from the bench, Good Justice Scalia (or “The Gimp”, as his bench-mates like to call him) an get together with Mr. Bill O’Reilly and his little toy collection and ex-New Jersey Governor McGreevy, drive down to Fire Island, and try to figure out exactly how many people it takes to be involved in a sex act before its considered to be public. Perhaps in the midst of this “research” they can combine their freaky forces and determine once and for all just how many licks it does indeed take to get to the center of a Charms Tootsie Pop. But to paraphrase a Seinfeld-ism, “. . . Not that there’s anything wrong with it. . . “

I've got to lay off the chocolate covered cappuccino beans!

Oh, one more thing before I try to get back on track (there will be more mention of new musical projects I’m involved in as well as words about great bands): Check these out.

http://www.knife-party.net/flash/barry.html

http://www.multiply.org/davescottanimation/GW5_Medium.mov

The Revolution will not be televised. But apparently there will be some sort of web-cast. Big ups to KAJ, Mark C. and Frank O. for those great articles of interest. Oh, one more thing:

The opinions that were expressed in the previous diatribe are strictly the author’s own, and do not in any way reflect actual fact regarding freakiness, martial aides, leather S&M outfits, anal stimulation, orgies, The Gimp, or the legal acumen of one Morris the fucking Cat. Thank you.

-R.k.S.